i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
