Im at strip club and am horny
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Come back. Shots need mouths.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
