Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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