Sponge bath it is.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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