I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
