Dual....:-)
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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