nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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