it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize