i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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