I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
