you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
