I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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