when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
