Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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