So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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