A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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