I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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