You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
