Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize