Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
