I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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