In the future we'll all be gay
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
