dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's blow job season.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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