last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
