come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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