The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
