Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
