worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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