Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
