smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
