Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
