i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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