So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
