i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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