Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
