Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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