In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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