Where is the hickey?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
