You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
