Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
