We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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