R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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