There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
