he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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