Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
