I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
