addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
