He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
