Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
