I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
