About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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