yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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