Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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