even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
