Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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