So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
