Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
