They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
