Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
