Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
