so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
