I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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