you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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