so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
