Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize