Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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