make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
