do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
