Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
